When the apocalypse comes—and let’s be honest, all it takes is one tantrum from our toddler-in-chief before he takes his nuclear football and goes home—the value of a cup of coffee will go up exponentially. I’m not just saying that as someone who already places an incredible amount of worth on a well-made cup, though admittedly apocalypse coffee is one of our favorite topics here at Sprudge.. This is coming straight from the mouths of doomsday preppers.
In an article in GQ, Australian prepper Stuey Bailey says that when the apocalypse comes, “cash will be worth toilet paper,” which you would think means that it’s pretty important—because who wants to live the rest of their life with a post-apocalyptic poopy butt—it actually means the opposite. But what will be worth its weight in gold is coffee.
According to the article coffee ranks high in the prepper’s priority list for much the same reason it does for the military: “it keeps soldiers alert.” Prepper blogger Daisy Luther states that the benefits go beyond alertness:
In a situation that keeping watch was necessary, the boost could help those patrolling stay awake. In cold conditions, nothing helps raise your body temperature from the inside out like a cup of coffee. It even has some health benefits. For example, caffeine has been proven to help relieve headaches, even extremely severe ones like migraines.
Coffee will also help with mental health, according to the article. It’s a creature comfort from the old way of life, a temporary forget-me-now for the current post-society. Bailey notes that coffee has an additional value of being “a good way to make peace and meet strangers in the bush.” Preppers are social creatures, after all.
So if you don’t already have a significant stockpile of coffee, now would be a good time to start accruing. Because the end is near, the sky is falling, the boy cried wolf. It’s all happening.
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
*top image via AMC
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